Stormy's Corner

Caleb eating cake

Here's Caleb eating cake at his first birthday party.  He's screaming in the last picture not because he doesn't like it but because he wanted a third piece!

3 things you never knew before you had kids

Here's three things I never knew before I had kids:

1. You have to practice bookmarking.  Not the computer bookmarks, the old fashioned kind.  You do this by crawling around the house and pulling the bookmark out of every book you find.  You then try to insert the bookmark back in the book.  Pull out and repeat.  If someone is holding you and a book at the same time ... well, that's the perfect opportunity to practice your bookmarking skills.  (As a side benefit, you get to watch them yell too!)
2. Corn kernels can go in your mouth and come out the other end without changing at all.  You can eat a whole cup and a whole cup comes out in the diaper.  What a diet plan!
3. You will go to the doctor more in the first year of life than all of the next 30 combined.  Even if you only go for the regular, suggested appointments.

Got any others?

Does your doctor take your concerns seriously?

As I said in my last post about choosing a new doctor, we've seen a lot - like really a lot - of medical people this year.  I've really come to appreciate medical people that take my concerns seriously (all of those visits but one were very necessary) and I've become really annoyed at people who don't take me seriously or don't believe me.

Today, before the doctor even looked at Caleb she was already trying to tell me there was not much chance of him having an ear infection because he didn't have a fever and he wasn't fussing with his ears.  I felt myself getting defensive - and a bit worried that she might not even look at his ears!  I think I stayed civil and calm.  The minute she peeked in his ear, she said, "Oh, that's definitely infected!" and I didn't even say "I told you so!" 

In contrast, I took Caleb to the ER a couple of weeks ago and they made me feel believed, trusted, knowledgeable, ...  When all of Caleb's terrible choking sounds stopped when we got there,  I was so worried they wouldn't believe me!  But they went out of their way to listen to me and to check him.  They even took xrays!  (Turns out he had a throat infection and his throat was swollen so much that when he cried his vocal cords would hit the sides of his throat and it sounded terrible!  It got Frank and I out of bed faster than I think we've ever moved before!)

Does your doctor believe you?  Or do they take a "I'll be the judge of that" attitude with you?

When do you need a new doctor?

When do you decide you need a new doctor?  In the past year we've been to the hospital once, the ER three times, urgent care twice and the doctor's office countless times!  That's a lot of medical care - and all of the visits except one justified some type of medical treatment.  So today when I called the doctor's office to ask a nurse a question - to see if we needed to see a doctor - and she told me there were no doctors or nurses on staff and I should go to urgent care ... well, I decided we needed a new plan.  So I called a pediatrician who works in an office of pediatricians.  Because of their large staff of doctors they were able to fit Caleb in right away.  We had to jump in the car to make it in time.  (Instead of half a mile away, they are 15 miles away.)

So while I really liked Caleb's small town family doctor - he always took the time to sit down and answer all my questions and he had a very matter of fact, no worrying way of looking at things - I really needed a doctor we could see on short notice.  One that wouldn't constantly refer me to urgent care and the emergency room.  When your kid has an ear infection, you can't wait till next Tuesday.

Someone who is happy with their job

It's nice to hear from someone (famous) that they are happy with their job and not looking to climb any corporate ladder or start a company. Finding something you love to do and then realizing that you love doing it makes for the perfect career and a much happier life. There aren't too many people that realize that society's call to climb the management ladder or start a company might not be their dream.  This is Linus Torvalds:

First off, I'm actually perfectly well off. I live in a good-sized house, with a nice yard, with deer occasionally showing up and eating the roses (my wife likes the roses more, I like the deer more, so we don't really mind). I've got three kids, and I know I can pay for their education. What more do I need? 

The thing is, being a good programmer actually pays pretty well; being acknowledged as being world-class pays even better. I simply didn't need to start a commercial company. And it's just about the least interesting thing I can even imagine. I absolutely hate paperwork. I couldn't take care of employees if I tried. A company that I started would never have succeeded -- it's simply not what I'm interested in! So instead, I have a very good life, doing something that I think is really interesting, and something that I think actually matters for people, not just me. And that makes me feel good.

For those that haven't heard of Linus - he's the guy that originally wrote Linux.

Stormy's Blogs

So I got asked how I keep up so many blogs, so I thought I'd update on what blogs I have. Active blogs:

• FlyTight.  This is a new blog about travel.  I added it at Frank's suggestion.  Check it out!
• My OpenLogic blog.  This is my work blog and it's primarily on open source software.
• Stormy's Corner.  Anything I find interesting that doesn't fit in the above categories.

Not so active blogs:

• Living Well.  I started putting health related things here.  I rarely ever post but it still gets quite a bit of traffic.
• Dot Dog.  I used to have a lot of dog posts (that get a lot of traffic) so I consolidated them here.
• My Man's Man.  I was taking pictures and blogging about all the yummy food Frank makes.  I haven't posted in a while but Frank has his own blog now at Life of a Hunter!

And for those of you that are curious, my most consistent top posts by traffic are:

• Deciding to stop breastfeeding - a lot of people have shared their stories.  At least 30 people a day hit this post trying to find information about how to stop breastfeeding.
• How much do dogs sleep?
• No drinks for dogs!
• Kidney failure in dogs

(Note I didn't include the work blog in this as I don't have those stats.)

So it looks like if I want traffic, I should keep posting about dogs!

Hachiko, the loyal dog, is one of my favorite stories

One of my favorite stories is the story of the dog Hachiko.  Hachiko was an Akita who lived in Japan with a professor.  Every day he walked the professor to the Shibuya train station and every evening he met him at the train station to walk him home.  After the professor died, Hachiko continued to go to the train station every evening to wait for the professor.  He went every evening for 11 years!

There's now a statue called Hachiko at the Shibuya station and two children's book about the story.  I read one of the books, Hachiko: The True Story of a Loyal Dog (Bccb Blue Ribbon Picture Book Awards), to Jacob last week and then a wikipedia article showed up about Hachiko.  Hachiko's story is truly an amazing story of friendship and loyalty.

Picture from Wikipedia.

Book review: Old Man's War

If you like Heinlein, you have to read Scalzi's Old Man's War.  I really enjoyed it.

Amazon had been recommending it to me for some time and I kept skipping it because I'm not a big fan of military fiction - although I don't mind an occasional military science fiction book.  I finally decided to try Old Man's War when it came up on Paperbackswap and I have now added all of Scalzi's other books to my wishlist!

Crawdad party!

We had our annual crayfish party!  Frank blogged about it over at Life of a Hunter, An evening with friends and crawdads!  We had a great time and really enjoyed visiting with everyone.

Here are some pictures and here are some more.  (I'd put a Flickr badge here but Flickr won't let me specify someone else's set.  I can display them by tag or one of my set but not someone else's set.)

Photo by Bill.

There is no writer's block

scottberkun.com #54 - Writing Hacks, Part 1: Starting:

It’s not the fear of writing that blocks people, it’s its fear of not writing well; something quite different.

The new sofa bed: bunk bed or sofa bed?

I just think this sofa is really cool.  The Unclutterer blog pointed me at it.  It's a sofa during the day and a bunk bed at night.  I think it'd be ideal for a small apartment or living space.

(Via Furniture Fashion.)

Get rid of the birdfeeder: how to really solve the problem of illegal immigrants

I got an email called "Quite an Analogy" forwarded on by somebody I respect and it made me so mad.  It said we should stop providing housing assistance, emergency medical care and free schools.  Because if we did that all the immigrants would go away and life would be better for us.  No crowding, no mess.  (It was comparing it to the fact that if you put on bird feeders, the birds come and make a mess and pester you for food.  Take down the bird feeders, the birds go away and the mess is solved.)

Let me see, if I stopped feeding my kids, they'd probably go away sooner or later and the house would sure be cleaner and quieter.  Or to make the analogy more accurate, that if the neighbor kids started coming over for food, I should stop feeding the neighbor kids and my kids, so that the neighbor kids (never mind what would happen to mine) would go away.  What kind of reasoning is that??  And it obviously resonates with people - someone forwarded it to me. 

If you want the problem to go away, you need to look at why you have the problem.  It's not because you put out the bird feeder.  If the emergency rooms are crowded, it's not because you offer emergency care to everyone, it's because some people had no where else to go.  Figure out why they don't have family doctors and help them get them.  It has to be easier and cheaper for them and the emergency rooms to provide care for them some other way.  Personally, I like that the courts have constantly up held our right to emergency care regardless of proof of insurance.

I think people that want to get rid of the bird feeder are just plain lazy.  They aren't willing to really figure out why we have this problem.  This isn't the immigrants' problem.  It's our problem.  We have to fix it.  Getting rid of the bird feeder will just change the problem, not solve it.   

I take that back.  Getting rid of the bird feeder, if it meant lowering our standard of living to that of Mexico, might solve the problem.  If life was as bad here as there, maybe they wouldn't come.  If I stop feeding my kids, the neighbor kids will stop coming over for dinner. 

How to convince someone they are wrong

You know that it's hard to change someone's mind because they'd have to admit they are wrong and nobody likes to be wrong.  Well, anytime you convince someone to use a new product, they are in some sense admitting that their old solution was wrong.  In All Marketers Are Liars: The Power of Telling Authentic Stories in a Low-Trust World Seth Godin gives the perfect example with Acumen.  Acumen is a non profit that wants to invest in third world companies that sell affordable products to people in developing countries - it's the best way to help their economies grow.  However, traditional philanthropists don't want to hear that the way they've been doing it is wrong - and traditional investors don't care that the company they are investing in is in a developing country as long as it makes them money.  So Acumen had to tell a different story and reach out to a different market: those philanthropists that are not happy with the way things currently work. 

If you want to convince someone to do it your way or buy your product, don't tell them that the way they are doing it now is wrong.  Sell them a new, exciting story.

A cool coffee shop created by a guy who believes businesses shouldn't exploit people

My parents have found a really neat coffee shop in Brookings, South Dakota.  They not only serve good coffee and food but they've created a welcoming and fun ambiance with local art on the walls, live music and interesting books.  (I stumbled across D.I.Y.: Design It Yourself there and any place that introduces me to an interesting book is a good place!)

The owner Jacob Limmer is featured in this video explaining why he didn't like businesses - because he thought they exploited people - and how he's gone about creating his own fun, very successful, not exploitative business.

We listen to what we want to hear

Growing up I had a reputation for being really good.  Because everyone believed I was really good, they would never believe I had done anything wrong.  Honest.  My eighth grade class elected me class delegate (this was Spain) simply because I could deliver the bad news and be the scape goat and I wouldn't get in trouble for it because everyone believed I was good.  I got to explain all sorts of things that we had done and the teachers would go, yes, yes, I know, and I know you weren't part of it.  (It only backfired once, when the teacher said she'd dock my grade unless I fessed up some names.  I lived with docked history grades for the rest of the year.)

So I knew intuitively that people hear what they already believe.  (We usually say they hear what they want to hear - but really they hear what they believe.) Seth Godin put it in writing much more clearly in All Marketers Are Liars: The Power of Telling Authentic Stories in a Low-Trust World. Marketers can tell any story they like, but the only one you are going to hear is the one you already agreed with in the first place.  You hear you need that special cup of coffee because you are special and deserve it.  They didn't have to convince you that you were special - they just reminded you of the fact.

I was tempted to send a copy of the book to an ex-friend who looked at me like I was an egotistical smartass when I told her I really liked The Business Plan for the Body because it made perfect sense - the book described weightloss just like I thought about weightloss.  Her response was "You liked it because you agreed with it?"  And I was like, "yes!"  And she decided I was full of myself.  But Seth Godin says we all only hear and like what we agree with.  And I knew that from all the way back in eighth grade - I just didn't know how to explain it.

Ira Glass on Storytelling

CurrentTV has a great video of Ira Glass on story telling.  (Ira Glass is the creator and producer of This American Life.)  In the video Ira talks about telling stories, finding good stories and "good taste."  It was the good taste section that I found really interesting.  You get into something because you enjoy it and appreciate it - you have good taste and you can tell what's good and what's bad.  Unfortunately, your taste is good enough for you to realize that what you are producing is not great.  Ira says you have to work through that - keep producing - and eventually you'll get better.  He says most people quit at that point because their taste is good enough to realize that their product is terrible.  He then shared a radio segment he made eight years after he got into radio and he explained how terrible it was.  And yet he stuck with it and now he's one of the most famous radio story tellers of our time.

Wow! We're fat! Lose weight for your friends!

A couple of blogs I read pointed me to this article.  They focused on the fact that by 2015, 75% of Americans will be obese or overweight.  What I noticed is that two thirds of us already are!  66% of Americans are overweight or obese.  It's already normal to be overweight.  And since a recent study found that you are more likely to be overweight if your friends are overweight, the more of us that are overweight, the more of us that will become overweight.  So not only are most of us fat, but if we're not, we're likely to be fat soon. 

And fat's not healthy, so let's all work on reaching our ideal weight.  If not for yourself, for your friends!

Flying with small children

I just read an excellent article about flying with small children.  Here's a few tips from How to Fly with Kids: 

1. Book a bulkhead row to prevent your child from kicking the seat in front of her.
2. Reserve a window seat for your child. Most children enjoy looking out the window during flights.
3. Use a backpack as a diaper bag; this will leave your hands free for other things.
4. Pack empty bottles or sippy cups. Once you go through security, you can buy water and juice to fill them. You can also ask the flight attendants to fill them with water or juice.

There are lots more in the article!  One I would add from personal experience is explain ahead of time how security works and what happens if they select your bag for additional screening.  Jacob still thinks those security guys are mean for taking his backpack!

Do you like graphic novels and movies?

Graphic novels are like comic books.  Graphic movies look like comic books - they are real actors in black and white with digitally created backgrounds usually with a little color added.  300, the graphic movie about a Grecian king who is greatly outnumbered by the Persians, is the number one best seller on Amazon and it just released on DVD the day before yesterday.  (And we owned our copy the day before yesterday.) 

Personally, I like any movie that's well done with a good story line.  However, the "graphic" effect doesn't do anything for me.  The movie Sin City wasn't bad because it looked like a comic but it wasn't any better because it looked like a comic.

(I haven't watched 300 yet but Frank says it's good - he watched it after I went to bed and it was good enough to keep him up!)

Book review: Learn to Swim

Learn to Swim: Step-by-Step Water Confidence and Safety Skills for Babies and Young Children is a beautiful book about teaching kids to swim.  It has great pictures, step by step instructions, and games and techniques for teaching your children how to swim.  I especially liked the fact that it very clearly stated what children can learn at each stage.  So Caleb is now old enough to be learning how to hold his breath.  (He's 11 months old.)  They not only said he can learn how to hold his breath, but explained how to teach him and what to watch for to see if he's comfortable with it or we need to take some more time.  I now have a very clear guide of what I can work on with him and what I might want to wait a bit on. 

As a side note, my problem with Caleb is not making sure he's comfortable or getting his face wet - it's teaching him that he's not a fish - he can't just walk in water over his head!  He was quite happy to be in the water and immediately went walking towards his dad and didn't seem to mind at all that it meant he inhaled a couple of lungfuls of water in the process!