Stormy's Corner

Drinking when pregnant

The New York Times has an article today on drinking alcohol and pregnancy: The Weighty Responsibility of Drinking for Two. They focused on a couple of themes.  One, how there are no studies about moderate drinking and pregnancy.  All the studies are about five drinks a day or no alcohol.  Two, how society tries to regulate pregnant women drinking.  We are all uncomfortable with pregnant women drinking.  (I have to admit to some of this myself.  Before I got pregnant, I saw a pregnant women at a sushi restaurant and I wondered what she was doing there.  Now I know.  She was probably eating sushi!)

I only had a problem once with someone trying to tell me what I should do when I was pregnant.  (Or should I say tell me what I shouldn't do.  Don't drink, don't lift that, don't stand there, sit down, etc.)  When I was six months pregnant we went to a really nice restaurant for my birthday.  I decided to get a glass of wine with my dinner to celebrate.  So we ordered two glasses of wine - one for him and one for me.  When the waiter brought them out, he did a double take, sat them down on an empty table and then came over with one glass and put it in front of Frank.  When Frank told him we'd ordered two glasses, he looked at me and said, "Oh, I thought you weren't drinking." 

Cheap car with good gas mileage: Yaris

I'm not in the market for a car right now but I ran into this one and I was really happy to see a four door car with 40mpg that prices for less than $14,000 new!  Toyota.com : Vehicles : Yaris. 

If I got 40mpg, I think I'd save $150/month.  The car would be paid for in a year!

12/8/06: Somebody should have pointed out that my math was off by a factor of 10!  The car would be paid off in 10 years.

That said, we went and sat in a Yaris today.  It was a bit narrow for Frank's shoulders but had room for the car seat.  It had lots of cupholders but manual windows. 

Healthcare: Different Costs for Different Folks

Having had a lot of experience with the health care world lately, I've become amazed at how pricing is set.  When trying to pick which insurance company to go with, I called my doctors and the hospital to find out what my expenses would be.  I discovered that what they charge depends on what insurance you have!

Recently our doctor billed us $1230 for a visit and our insurance company agreed to pay $291.92 and the doctor's office called it good!  I wondered if I could have negotiated it down that much if I'd been paying without insurance.  Well, this guy did too.  He called several hospitals and asked if they would negotiate if he was uninsured.  Here's what he found out:

# The list price varies by 75% ($1,013 to $3,970).

# The best uninsured price varies by 92% ($204 to $2,600).

# List price discounts range from 0% to 86%.

# To get many of the discounts hospitals offer the balance needs to be paid in full at the time of service or a large down payment made, to receive it.

# Some hospitals are unwilling to divulge the price over the phone and others will not call back.

The details are at HealthCare Advocate Blog � Blog Archive � The Uninsured Patient Experiment.

Early prenatal drinking affects baby's stress response

Women's biggest concern about drinking alcohol during pregnancy is "what about those drinks I had before I knew I was pregnant?"  This is the first study I've seen about what affect drinking early in a pregnancy has: MedlinePlus: Prenatal drinking may boost baby's stress response.  Basically they found that two drinks a day early in pregancy cause a baby's stress response to be greater than normal.  When you are stressed your heart rate goes up and your stress hormones go up.  That's bad not only for your health but for your ability to learn.

For the record, there are lots of other things that also affect a person's stress response.

Mortgages are not good financial investments

I think you should take out a mortgage to buy a house.  It's much better to be paying off a loan for a house you will eventually own than it is to be paying rent.  However, mortgages are not a "good deal."  Paying off your house is the smarter financial move!  Even if you can deduct the interest from your taxes, you still have to pay the interest first, and deducting it doesn't mean you get it all back, it just means you don't pay taxes on that amount of income. (And for people who says they like to borrow money that way and then invest it in something that returns more ... well, that's a risky strategy.  I prefer to invest money I have instead of money I don't have and would have to pay back if I lost it.)  This guy agrees with me: How Much of Your Car Should You Finance? Zero percent. - iTulip.com Forums.

"But there are tax advantages to holding a mortgage," you say. The government raises a tax on your current income via an income tax, then offers to partially reduce it if you accept a tax on your future income via interest on a government sponsored loan to buy a house that bearly keeps up with the rate of inflation–except during a housing bubble, such as we just experienced. This is what passes for good household finance? How long have North Americans been falling for this nonsense?

When you get to deduct the interest on your mortgage, you are not getting the interest money back!  (Say the top part of your income falls into a 30% tax bracket. If you deduct $10,000 in interest, you would pay $3300 less in taxes.  But you still paid $10,000 in interest, so you still have $6700 less than you would have had without the mortgage!)

To circumcise or not?

I bet many a couple has had the "circumcision" debate but hardly anybody talks about it.  This medical student feels very strongly that boys should not be circumcised and she explains why here: Tales from the Emergency Room and Beyond....

She says that less than 20% of boys in Canada are circumcised.  According to this website, just over half (55.9%) of boys in the United States were circumcised in 2003 but it varies greatly by region from 31.4% in the West to 77.8% in the Northeast.

As I wrote this, I realized that I am very, very anti-female circumcision and not so anti-male circumcision simply because of my culture.  I'm going to have to rethink my values.

$1 Coins Again ... and credit cards

The United States is trying dollar coins again: Presidential $1 Coin.  Personally, I think it's a good idea as one dollar bills get so worn out.  However, I'd rather just use my credit card everywhere.  I think it's easier (one swipe, never worry about running out of cash) and everything I spend is tracked for me so I can easily analyze my spending.

I do recognize that credit cards are not the best solution for everyone.  I have several friends that have a very hard time controlling their spending with them.  I've also read studies that say we spend more when we use credit cards.  I don't think I do.  I've tried spending only cash for a week or two and I think I eat, drink and shop just the same, but I could be wrong ... When I spend cash I always have this feeling that I've lost some or given too much to someone.   After reading Suze Orman's 9 Steps to Financial Freedom, I decided that my fear of losing cash might all have started with the time I was 11 and left $40 in a small purse on a table in McDonalds.  The whole ride back to McDonalds, I remember being terrified the money was gone.  It was still there, but I still don't like having lots of cash that I could lose.  I know with a credit card I can just call and cancel it if it's lost and I've lost nothing!

5-way kidney swap

I decided this post belonged in the social networking category instead of the health category.  Five people that needed a kidney found a relative willing to donate one but in all cases the relative's kidney wasn't compatible.  So the five got together and swapped relative's kidneys!  All 5 got a kidney that worked for them.   5-way kidney swap performed at Hopkins - Yahoo! News.

Young people dressing unprofessionally?

The New York Times has an essay about young doctors dressing inappropriately, showing too much skin, wearing casual clothes and in general, not wearing traditional professional doctor attire. When Young Doctors Strut Too Much of Their Stuff - New York Times.  They sited studies that showed that doctors wearing a suit and white lab coat made patients more confident and more likely to confide in their doctors. 

I'd argue that this is a problem that is not unique to doctors.  Walking down the street, I see a lot more skin on young people than I think I used to.  (Or am I just getting old?)  And I see young people at work in the computer industry wearing shirts that show their midriff or sandals that show their toes.  I'm taking massage classes at a professional massage school and the younger students are constantly challenging the dress code.  Personally, I have a hard time understanding why they aren't willing to wear shirts that cover their tummies (doesn't massage have a dicey enough reputation without adding to it?) but I can't argue that they are just dressing the way the rest of their cohort does.

So is our idea of professional attire outdated?  Will the new generation change that definition?  Or will they eventually conform with our norms and start covering up some more skin and wearing suits or business casual or whatever is appropriate for their profession?

Personally, if you told me I'd be more successful dressing a different way because my clients, patients, or customers would trust me more and confide in me, I'd change the way I dressed.  Would you?

Is your baby allergic to milk?

If your baby is allergic to milk, switching him or her to soy based formula is not the answer.  Being allergic to milk is not the same as being lactose intolerant.  Babies with milk allergies should proabably be switched to a hypoallergic or amino-acid based formula.  BBC NEWS | Health | Milk allergy in babies 'missed'.

(Note that the article also alluded that soy based forumulas could cause long-term fertility problems!)

Good, Bad and Right

In this post Gretchen talks really good or bad versus feeling right.  You can feel good about things you do (like giving someone a present or exercising) or you can feel right (like when you've made a tough decision like putting a parent or grandparent in assisted living when it was appropriate.)  I think most of us focus on feeling good versus feeling right.  Feeling good has more immediate positive feedback whereas feeling right gives us satisfaction in life.

Calendar for kids

I found this great idea about how to make a calendar for a preschooler. Kristen made a one week laminated calendar and then she tapes pictures of each of the activities to the right place in the week: pictures of school, pictures of the sister at dance lessons, pictures of visitors, etc:  Homemade 'calendar' helps preschoolers understand their weekly routines: Parent Hacks.  I tried to do this for our six year old a couple of years ago because he has two homes and constantly asks questions like, "how many days am I here?"  I wasn't very successful though as I never came up with a good way to distinguish between days at Dad's house and days at Mom's house - I think the pictures would have made a big difference.

No breastfeeding on airplanes!

In the news: Woman kicked off plane for breast-feeding - Travel News - MSNBC.com.  A similar situation happened in my backyard last year.  A mother from my gym was breastfeeding her baby at the lake and got a ticket for indecent exposure!  When I was nursing my baby I ran into a few people that were uncomfortable with it in public - mostly people I knew - but I never was asked to leave or stop.
Why do people have such a problem with women breast-feeding in public?  Is a woman's breast that offensive or is the sight of a baby eating offensive?  Or is it the fact that a baby sucking on a breast brings up sexual imagery in their minds and that makes them uncomfortable?  I think it's the latter and that happens because our society has made breasts (and the bigger the better) into pure sex symbols.  We've forgotten what they  are really there for - feeding babies!
Can they be both?  Sex symbols and for feeding babies?  Or does the one taint the other?

How to plan a sailing vacation

  Ever looked at a magazine cover of a beautiful white sailboat surrounded by gorgeous turquoise water and wondered how in the world do people plan a vacation like that?  Well, I've been dreaming about sailing lately, and since I'm not planning on taking my three month old sailing any time soon (they won’t let me start him in swim lessons until he’s six months!), I thought I'd share how I planned my sailing vacations and live vicariously though those that might decide to go.  Feel free to send me questions!

First you have to decide what type of sailing vacation you want.  In part it will depend on how much sailing experience you have and in part it will depend on how comfortable your traveling companions are with sailing.

There are five basic ways you can take a sailing vacation:

Grandma's Schoolhouse

Schoolhouse,
originally uploaded by Storming.

This is the school house Grandma went to school in. She walked a mile and a half up hill to school everyday. (It was downhill on the way home!) Grandma turns 90 in February.

A good day on vacation

A good day of hunting,
originally uploaded by Storming.

I like this picture from our recent pheasant hunting vacation because you can tell how much fun everyone is having being outside on this gorgeous October(!) day in South Dakota.

Eunuchs still exist

Today I saw a news article, Indian eunuchs help collect taxes.  Confused, I googled "eunuchs india."  Did eunuchs still exist?  And if so why are there a million of them?  This article was interesting and disturbing, Eunuchs -- India's Third Gender -- ThingsAsian Article.  Eunuchs are alive and well with new ones being created regularly.  In India they live in communities and work as dancers, baby blessers and prostitutes.  (The baby blessers part sounded more like a threat - pay me or I'll curse your baby.)  The article made it sound as if joining the eunuch community and getting an operation to become a eunuch was a personal choice and that most eunuchs were homosexual.  I can't believe that a million people would choose that ostarized life style, but I'll reserve judgement until I have more data or get a chance to meet them.

What would you do?

What would you do if you were guaranteed a fixed salary but you had to do some job?  Say you'd make a $100K a year but you had to work.  What would you do?  Would you stay at your current job?  Become a teacher?  A tour guide?  CEO of a company?  Or a night watchman so you could read books all night?  Here's a list of some jobs in NYC: Who Makes How Much - New York's Salary Guide 2005.

They say that winning the lottery doesn't make people any happier after the initial rush wears off.  Having money doesn't mean you'll be happy.  (Having enough to eat can make you a lot happier than not having enough money for food.  However, once you have the basics, we are all about the same amount of happy whether we have $100 million in the bank or just make $30K a year.)  So if that's the case, you should work on the things that make you happy like family and friends.  And since we spend 40+ hours a week at work, I figure you should find a job you really like regardless of what it pays.  But that's not so easy.  If they didn't pay you, would you go into work at your current job?  If you had to go into work and all things were equal, what would you do?

I have no problem listing jobs I know I wouldn't like:

• dentist
• CEO of a company (although it would depend on the company's mission)
• home daycare provider
• sailboat skipper/chef (imagine having people living in your home 24 hours a day and having to cater to their every wish or deal with any behavior you didn't like - and no kids or pets!)

And I can list jobs that I know I like:

• software programmer (but it would have to be on a team that wasn't always running late and I don't think those exist)
• errand/photocopy person (I got to read lots, talk to lots of people and get lots of exercise while getting paid.)
• public speaker on a topic I like

And then there's jobs I think sound intriguing for some reason:

• tour guide - I love going on those guided tours like the history of the French Quarter.  My friends put up with them but I find them fascinating.  Unfortunately we don't have a French Quarter or unique cemeteries or similar attraction around here.
• garbage collector - in the summer.  Think of all the exercise and outdoor time you'd get!  (At my last house the garbage collectors were always good looking college kids with great tans.)
• author/public speaker.  Did you know that Malcolm Gladwell and Thomas Friedman get $30K per speaking engagement!  Malcolm's only written two books. 
• med school student.  But I don't want to be a doctor.  Given the cost of med school, that's a small problem!
• Permanent student.  Dad used to joke about this and I used to think it was a terrible idea but I've changed my mind.  Plus there's lots of types of things to study from traditional university classes to karate to med school to massage school to sailing to jewelry making to language school to ...  (I am a permanent student by the way - I just wouldn't mind doing more of that.)

I also know I love talking to people that love their profession or really know what they are talking about.  I recently bought a pair of shoes and the shoe salesman spent time explaining how that company made their shoes, why the style had changed, what was better, why they don't make blue leather shoes, how to take care of leather, ... I found I really enjoyed buying that pair of shoes - a change from my normal ambivalence to shoe shopping. 

So if you could do anything in the world, what would it be?   How much of our decision for a life career is limited by careers we've heard of, prestige, money making potential, our friends' opinions, opportunity, the way the dice fall, who calls us first, ...

Supervising Kids Online

This article talks about how to keep your kids safe online: Cool Cat Teacher Blog: 11 Steps to Online Parental Supervision of your Children.  It's main point is that you should be actively involved, read your kids blog or web page, comment on it (so they know you read it) and in general watch and participate in what they are doing.